Brunch of Gluttony

When I lived in Dubai, going out to brunch was a blood-sport. People started early in the morning at a designated place of brunching. Five hours later they emerged filled to brim with delicious brunch goodies. Somehow, inexcusably, I never went out to brunch in Dubai. I’m not sure how it happened, but it’s one of my biggest regrets in life. Right up there with being too young and unaware to be at Red Rocks for U2’s concert there in 1983. Huge regret.

So, I’ve determined to make up for missing so many great brunch opportunities in Dubai by never passing up an opportunity for a quality brunch ever, ever again. I began my brunch quest last year by going out for a fabulous birthday brunch in at the Fairmont Hotel in Singapore (thanks again, Amy…it was remarkable). When I was invited out for brunch at the Ritz, my resolve kicked in and I was determined to go.

If you’ve never been to brunch at a 5 star hotel, it goes something like this: As I walked in, I passed the Oyster bar. I really wish I liked Oysters. I find them slimy and phlegm like. They go against one of my cardinal rules of eating which is to never eat something that has or looks like it has been previously digested. So, they oysters were out, but I assure you they were fresh and smelled of the sea. We were seated and for the next three hours, I enjoyed the following treats: crusty bread, tomato soup, French toast drizzled with chocolate sauce, Munster cheese (it had a picture of a cow on it, but it tasted a little goaty, which I did not enjoy, but I did avoid spitting it back onto my plate, a victory of sorts), roasted pork, chili sauce, dumplings (Chinese style, Grandma; yours are better!), fried rice noodles, tomatoes with fresh mozzarella cheese and some other good stuff. The highlight, of course, was dessert. What’s not to love about a chocolate fountain? And pineapple? Chocolate covered pineapple? Yes please! I limited myself to one trip to the chocolate fountain, as the chocolate was of such high quality, that I was afraid if I went back I would have stuck my face right into it, which is not Ritz appropriate behavior. I also had a tiny piece of chocolate mousse cake with passion fruit filling as one of the guests at brunch was celebrating a birthday. It was a brunch to remember. I love my dedication to the ideal of never saying no to brunch. Best resolution ever. I’m also really glad I bought an elliptical machine yesterday. It goes well with my resolution to never be removed from my house with the assistance of a forklift or a crane.